she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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