Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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