If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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