i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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