she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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