i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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