So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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