Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
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This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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