so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
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he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
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She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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