Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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