Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize