WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
you will always have a special place in my vag
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants