It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.