We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize