3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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