Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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