you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
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I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
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Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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