i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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