then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize