He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
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The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
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Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something