Do you still have your period?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."