apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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