So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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