She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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