Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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