I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
