Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
