her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
