i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
sarcasm needs its own font
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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