Dual....:-)
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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