he puts the penis in happiness.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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