so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
