we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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