Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Randomize
Follow @tfln