By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
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I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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