this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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