So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
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you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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