dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
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I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
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