sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
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Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
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HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days