You just made me feel so damn special
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
My vagina is officially offended.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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