can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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