My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
