I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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