On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?