Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
foreskin is a definite game changer
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.