That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.