you suck at this game today
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.