We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
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I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
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I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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