stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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