My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy