2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
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I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
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Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.