So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
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I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
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Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.