Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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