i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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