Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
