My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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