I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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