hell yes lets make some ravioli
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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